Celebrity OKC Profiles: Neil DeGrasse Tyson

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(Photo credit from pixabay.com)

My Self Summary:

I’m a nerd who managed to figure out social skills. So well in fact, I broke into mainstream media and have close to as many followers as Kim Kardashian’s ass. Not to brag, but many even wanted to me to run for president along with Bill Nye. We considered it, but none of us wanted the title of Vice President. There’s something you should know about me. This Mother Fucker from the Bronx doesn’t ride BITCH to NOBODY! Suck on that science guy. Shit, he told me drunk once that a part of him still thinks the earth is flat. Chump.

What I’m doing with my life:

I’m currently working at this Planetarium to keep the government off my back with child support. They tried to take a piece of my Cosmo’s check but I knew better. Got that shit tax free and been blowing it ever since. My lifestyle makes Ricky Ross look like crackhead. I’m such a bad ass, one of my rooms in my 3 bedroom Manhattan apartment is an observatory. Sometimes when the moon is shinning bright, I like to throw on some “little River Band”, get a solid glass of red, and rename all the stars with clever puns. For example: Orion is now “Kids-stop-crying” or Aquila is “lil’-killa”.

You get the idea.

Favorite Movies, Music, Books, Etc.

…..The Bible 😉

 

Six things I can’t do without:

-Carl Sagon

-Earth

-NASA

-Girls into nerds

-PBS documentaries (or else I wouldn’t get paid)

-My sexy afro

 

You Should Message me if:

-A deep Issac Hays voice gets your juices flowing, especially if that voice is talking about meteors

-You need help on your Algebra test

-Don’t mind if my colleague Steven Hawking watches us make love from time to time. It’s my way of giving back to the science community.

-If you’re also waiting for the 70’s porn stash to make a comeback

-You think most movies about space are wack

 

 

 

 

 

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