Cough cough! My lungs felt like they were going to explode. It always happens when you hold it in too long. You get that sticky feeling, which everyone knows can be good. Screw it. You’re only 23. You’ll basically live forever.
I put the bowl down and started looking at my HP. Boring Chem 101, shit I could do in my sleep. Now calculus was a different story. I needed all my senses for that one.
The house was usually quite for having 12 roommates. But I guess that is what you’d expect when Halloween is on a Tuesday. Outside I heard loud drunken laughs of Zombies. Apparently that’s the go to look this year for the girls that didn’t want to show their ass. My eyes went back over to balancing equations.
Knock KNOCK KNOCK
My body snapped into perfect posture. Instantly, I starred over at the window reflection of me. Who the fuck was this? Nobody knocks here, except the cops. And even they just barge in sometimes. Maybe if I was quiet they’d go away I thought. I slowly glanced at the window in order to not make a sound with my eyes.
A Cowboy was staring right at me! My body flinched back into the couch.
“Hello! Hey I’m sorry man, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just got a quick question. Do you mind if I come in?”
At least he was a friendly Cowboy. He kinda looked like one of the douche bags next door. They always have a way of interrupting. “Yea come on in.” I picked up the bowl and took a quickie. The Indian in me thought it was a good idea to kick things off with the peace pipe.
“Oh shit, you live in the brown house next door don’t you?” I took a another hit. “Wanna some?
“No thanks. But nah I live a few blocks towards downtown and-”
“Thank God. I hate those fuckers. Always yelling at us about moving our cars.” I interrupted. “As a matter of fact last week they-”
“Look man I’m sorry bother you but I’m on my way to a party and…. well…. fuck it. I GOT TO TAKE A SHIT! ………LIKE BAD!” He danced as he said the last part.
I starred blankly while my mind put all the pieces together. “Oh shit! Word! Yea go for it! There’s only one. Upstairs to the left. Can’t miss it.”
“THANK YOU SO MUCH!”
The cowboy charged up the stairs while I started laughing. None of the other guys where gonna believe it! This is one of the funniest things that have ever happened to me. I hit the green one last time and got back to the grind. This shit was due at 8 tomorrow.
The front door slammed and out popped Mark.
“Did you leave the door open?”
“Nah I didn-”
“You’re fucking high, of course you did.”
“What the shit is this? I can’t just tell you-”
“You guys are always fucking high!”
“Well you know. It’s kinda fun maybe you should give it try sometime.”
Mark ran up stairs. Classic. Always gotta give me lecture about this that and the third. He rustled around for a bit, then he ran back downstairs.
“Who’s in the Bathroom? Is Danny home?”
“Nah it’s this cowboy I met.”
He looked at me with disdain. “Cowboy? Dude! Is this another homeless guy like before?”
“Here we go. You always gotta bring that one up! And besides you thought Freddy was fun too!” I started packing another bowl.
“He stole all my liquor! and Tried to kick out the TV!”
I took a quick hit before defending myself. “Well in his defence it was pretty cold that day. Freddy probably needed ;something to warm him up. And that TV barely works. He was trying to fix it.”
BAMN BAMN BAMN
The Cowboy finally showed his face in the living room. In his right hand he carried a bag.
“Thanks again man! Soo sorry I had to bother you!” He paused for a second sorting out how to say the next part. “….But it got pretty rough before I got here. What do you want me to do with–”
I answered with no hesitation. “Yea outside just not on our place”
The cowboy started laughing. “Alright I can do that.” He smirked and walked out.
Mark suddenly found words again. “Dude WHAT THE FUCK! I don’t even know where to begin!”
“Dude! This has been going on for a minute in this place! You know how it goes. Sometimes you got to just a dude in when he’s gotta take a shit. I don’t really know why you’re all upset?
“WHY I”M UPSET!!? WHO THE FUCK DOES THIS?”
I picked up the bowl and took a hit. As blew the smoke out I could see something fly out of the corner of my eye. I could barely make it out but looked white and brown. My head turned to give it my full attention.
It slapped on the neighbors’ window and slowly oozed down into the bushes. I looked over at the sidewalk. The Cowboy gave me a thumbs up and walked away.