Back Burner and a Box


Shit hit the fan.

Not a small droopy plop that gives you a warm emotion because you can no finally get up, knowing you don’t have to excessively wipe your ass. No. I’m referring to the gut wrenching brand. The type that pours out of your ass like releasing an oil plug from a 69′ Chevy. Sometimes there’s a few chucks but we all pretty much know what the viscosity is before praying to the porcelain gods.

Friday, I go to work. Feels like a normal slow day.

10:00: Boss leaves for a impromptu funeral he only mentions to one person in passing. My co-worker shares this information with us. We ponder it over, but don’t think anything of it because, fuck it, we just got paid today.

11:45: Still no boss. This excites us as we make our lunch plans. Looks like Ol’ Darby and company may call it quits early this weekend. Hells to the yea! I got a bunch of writing to get done for this writers workshop. I’ve got a shitty first draft of a story that needs some work.

12:05: We stand by the Elevators, anticipating the awesomeness of heading to Chipotle for lunch. It’s a delicacy we never get to have but due to the boss out, we take advantage. Out of nowhere we see our boss’s boss. Incredibly strange considering he’s last told us he’s suppose to be on the east coast until Monday.

12:45: Chipotle is delicious. One of my higher ranking co-workers rambles on about Watergate type conspiracy theories of what might be going on with our department. I join in from time to time, and make jokes about keeping a cardboard box next to my desk, just in case.

1:00: We return to the office. I grab some water from the break room and see a box sitting by the recycling basket. I bring it back to my desk. I show everyone and they laugh hysterically.

1:30: I’m jamming out on some work when I hear a familiar Conan O’Brien type voice as to see my peer Bobby. I look back and see my boss’s boss walk him down the hallway into his office.

1:45: Bobby starts packing his things up and only says, “It’s happening!”

1:46: I start slamming everything from my desk into what was my Joke box. In addition, I run to the break room and through tons of fun-sized Lay’s BBQ chips in my back pack, ignoring the new camera that is supposedly “on”.

1:55: A fellow co-worker grabs me and another to walk to the conference room. Feeling nervous, I take a few more bags of Lays so I have something to make me feel better. He breaks down how, our boss is fired, another is laid off, and we are the only current safe employees. …….for now.

2:25: I make a joke about who gets my boss’s old office, then return to my messed up cubical.

2:30: I begin reworking my resume for the 4th time in 2018.

2:43: I realize that shit has really in deed hit the mother fucking fan. Time to get a few leads on the back burner. In addition, I leave my box under my desk for save keeping.

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