How to Stand Out At a Concert

You move through the herd of selfie takers by the Riot Fest Demon Head

Dodge the Random Zombies in between stages, Texting their friends

Bump into the groups scrolling Instagram while Weezer warms up

You tilt your head to make out Rivers Cuomo from the sea of iPhones recording

“Bro, give me your Phone, I’ll take a sweet video for you” Says the stoned kid in the Bulls Hat next to you.

“It’s cool man, I’ll just enjoy it now.”

Welcome to being fucking weird in 2018.

How Things Done Changed

I sent a text to this girl I met the other day on the street. She just got back from living overseas for the last five years.

Me: You haven’t seen How I met Your Mother? Yikes

Her: I’m sorry I don’t know that reference. I feel like I’ve been missed so much, I’m just trying to catch up.

Me:Ohh, well that’s acceptable then. Here let me help. Here comes the cliff notes on the USA since you’ve been gone:

Me: So everyone in Hollywood is a rapist.

Me: A former reality tv star is our leader

Me: John Oliver replaced John Steward and moved the show to HBO.

Me: We’re really mad at guns.

Me: ……again

Me: For some reason people still like the Kardashians

Me: There are more “Real House Wives” than major US Cities

Me: We still protest racial issues

Me: Other than in Miami, Soccer isn’t a thing.

Me: And Winona Ryder is famous again.

Her: Wow. So nothing has changed huh.

Me: Not a damn thing.

 

 

The Most Dangerous Thought

I met a professional writer, and woke up the next morning and thought:

“Why not me?”

I found a job listing for the big city that was well out of my experience, and thought:

“Why not me?”

I saw a girl standing in line in Starbucks twirling hair while reading “The Road” and thought,

“Why not me?”

I met a woman who finished a marathon and thought:

“Why not me?”

Be careful, because you never know

where that thought will take you.