I sent a text to this girl I met the other day on the street. She just got back from living overseas for the last five years.
Me: You haven’t seen How I met Your Mother? Yikes
Her: I’m sorry I don’t know that reference. I feel like I’ve been missed so much, I’m just trying to catch up.
Me:Ohh, well that’s acceptable then. Here let me help. Here comes the cliff notes on the USA since you’ve been gone:
Me: So everyone in Hollywood is a rapist.
Me: A former reality tv star is our leader
Me: John Oliver replaced John Steward and moved the show to HBO.
Me: We’re really mad at guns.
Me: For some reason people still like the Kardashians
Me: There are more “Real House Wives” than major US Cities
Me: We still protest racial issues
Me: Other than in Miami, Soccer isn’t a thing.
Me: And Winona Ryder is famous again.
Her: Wow. So nothing has changed huh.
Me: Not a damn thing.