If you’ve been around the OL dating game at all you’ll probably start to notice all the complex relationship statuses. The shit labeled like it is straight out of a math book, with poly- and mono, and all the three letter acronyms. One that always cracks me up is
It’s not polygamy, which any idiot can deduce from the non part of the monogamy section.
It’s ethical dammit! These people make it sound like Mormons don’t have any ethics to them.
Adding the word ethical is what makes me scratch my head at the entire identifying statement.
Why does the person identifying with the label need it to be “ethical”?
If I walk down to a bar at 10 am on a Sunday and order a beer, I don’t say I’m an ethical alcoholic. Oh no, ethics has nothing to do with it. Nor do I give a fuck what anyone thinks about it. Moscow mules taste just as good in the am as they do in the pm.
But this Segways into a bigger picture to why the word is added for the person. It softens the phrase by giving their brain a positive idea to latch on.
Personally it makes me think that on some level they think what they’re doing is wrong. Whether or not they are conscious of that idea is irrelevant, but it’s stands out like a 70 year old European in a banana hammock.
When you truly are indifferent about something you just put it out there and let the other person deal with it. It’s like handing someone a blank canvas with a color palette.
But a throwing out a leading phrase like that is like handing someone a coloring book. You can use any color you want, but it’s still obvious what the picture is.
On a subtle level, it clues me into how the person thinks about this particular concept. We all generally accept various connotations of words.
But in reality is nothing is black and white, just grey. Our brains place shit in categories for us to help digest these bigger complex ideas. This is how the human race has evolved.
The thing is, when you take a stance on a widely accepted issue, you’re going to get scrutinized.
It’s instinct to want to push down the nail that sticks up above the rest. It is, what it is.
So at the end of the day,
that is what bothers me the most about the “ethical non-monogamers”.
I don’t give a fuck about how many people you are in a relationship with.
I just want you to leave the ethics for your Social Studies class,
and be proud of who you are.