….I bet you were waiting for me to start off the cover letter like a professional and not some 90’s retro computer game. Well expect the unexpected, my friend. Here I would love to tell you that there is some deep significance to the number seven that applies to the story I’m sending, but there isn’t. I thought it would be fun to draw.
If you couldn’t tell, this letter isn’t going to get any different from what’s above. I’ll probably ramble a few more sentences about nonsense and sprinkle in some inappropriate jokes here and there, because well screw it. I really don’t care if you publish my work or not.
Trust me, it’s not that I don’t think my work is good. Everything I write is fireworks on the 4th, including my name. I would like you too, if you feel it fits you journal. But if not, we’ll do this song and dance again soon.
You see for whatever reason, I measure my success by the amount of times I hit the green submit button. That’s the gold metal to me. Whatever happens after that is a bonus. This year I’ve submitted 30 pieces, which means I’ve kicked ass 30 times. Chicago Marathoners have nothing on me and you best believe 31 is coming in a few brief seconds. Well, that is, until I figure out how to tie in a solid joke at the end.
……………………So I got nothing. I was trying to out smart you by making a pun with a movie quote from Se7en. But I’m done. I wasted all my creativity on this this piece. …Okay and this cover letter that you probably won’t read. So you won this round, but I’ll be back. You can count on that one.
P.S. Please enjoy my my 700 word piece entitled “Oscar”.
P.S.S. I really loved your last piece “Mooncake” by Grace Prasad.
Aka the people champ
Aka the Voodoo Child
Aka the Italian Stallion
Aka the most successful deadbeat writer you’ve never heard of